Real Estate Buyers and Sellers deserve Compassion
What sparks a post about compassion for real estate buyers and sellers? I’m glad you asked. This post is a little more personal, so bear with me. It’s not a short read, but I feel it’s an important one.
I am the proud and loving parent to 2 “kids”. My fur-babies. A 13.5 year old golden retriever and a 13 year old fluffy black cat. They have been friends since their wee years and bring a smile to my face every day.
My cat, Smokey Joe, appeared with a small lump on his neck in January. I waited until early February to take him to the vet. The lump didn’t seem to be bothering him at all and a trip to the vet in the dreaded cat carrier is never his favorite activity.
A week later we got the news that his lump was a tumor and every possibility for its type, were bad. Our next visit was with an oncology surgeon. It was time to figure out options.
On a Thursday, just two days later, Smokey Joe underwent surgery to remove the mass. Once excised, it was sent to pathology for staging – what they call it when experts try to give you more information about the specific type of cancer, it’s speed of growth and whether or not it is resistant to the chemotherapy options out there.
Ok, so let’s get to the part about compassion.
Friday morning at the vet clinic I had a run in with the nurse assigned to discharge Smokey Joe. There were multiple errors in his paperwork, not the least of which were his name, the wound location and the amount of pain medicine I was to administer at home. The devil is in the details and I’m not afraid to ask blunt questions. I am Smokey Joe’s advocate after all. The nurse took offense. She really didn’t like me questioning the competency of the person who wrote the discharge instructions and she defended her lack of familiarity with my cat and his discharge instructions by telling me she was a temp and the clinic was really busy that day. Seriously? I get what a bad day feels like… I just got told my beloved cat has cancer! I asked her to leave the room, check the instructions with someone who knew what was going on with Smokey Joe and not to come back until the discharge instructions didn’t direct me to overdose my poor cat. She never came back. She sent the Dr instead. Fine by me…. Until he defended her. (Don’t get me started!)
Contrast this with my experience at dinner the night before.
Mark and I drove out to Longmont to visit Smokey Joe on Thursday evening after his surgery. We stopped at Oskar Blues for dinner and a drink. The young woman who seated us asked about my day and I was honest. I told her it had been a bit rough and my cat was just out of surgery for a tumor removal. She was SO empathetic… even telling me her own story of her mother’s struggle with cancer, going on 3 years. I was incredibly touched that she’d even compare her mom’s cancer to that of my cat and I felt she truly cared to listen and understood my pain and anxiety.
When the bill came, handwritten on the register print out was “Your family will be in our prayers”. That young lady had told her manager and they had decided to make our day a little brighter by picking up the tab for our meal and drinks.
Note the line that says “100% Friends & Fam”. (Yeah, there were tears. And this act of kindness did change my day for the better.)
That, my friends, is COMPASSION. It’s not about the money. It’s about someone taking a moment to listen, to genuinely care about someone else’s bad day and to let us know we mattered… How we were feeling actually mattered to them.
(And if the food hadn’t snagged our loyalty already, this note surely would have turned us into lifelong loyal customers.)
This brings me to real estate…
You might think my day is filled with contracts and aggressive negotiations for clients. Eh, sometimes. Mostly though, I would describe my job as working with a Buyer or Seller who is transitioning. Making a big life change and not a cheap one. My clients are making huge decisions but that is just the tip of the iceberg. In the background they are often buffering huge emotional swings too.
From anxiety over spending so much money (borrowing so much money) or making a huge financial commitment and life commitment with a new partner; To grief emotions such as sadness and anger due to divorce or death or a forced move. I see people taking leaps of faith – moving to or from a city they know no-one in, or to start a family. You’d be surprised how many people are moving up, down or sideways to simply improve the quality of life for their family; Better schools, shorter commute, more useful floor plan for newer physical challenges or a yard that the dog can play in. While many circumstances also warrant positive emotions, the truth is they too are intense and that is exhausting.
Intense emotions affect people… they affect their jobs, their conversations with others, their ability to make decisions and to buffer stress.
My job is to get the best price of course. But it’s to get my clients the best TERMS in a deal too.
My young families benefit from not having to do a double move, my disabled clients need some overlap between places to modify or move slowly, my divorcees might appreciate a quicker deal and separate closing times from each other, estate sales want copies of paperwork directly to attorneys and the family maybe wants a private moment to “say goodbye” to mom’s house. In between, I remind couples to have date nights (no real estate talk allowed) and others to save a little money for a much needed vacation after the move. Everyone needs a little down time to rest and recover from stress.
My clients also need a safe space and a compassionate Realtor to discuss confidential financial and emotional needs. They should know I really care, that I want to help them in whatever way serves them best.
Life is not about the money, it’s about connection to others. Knowing other people understand that your emotional needs are important and they will be treated as such, is no small thing . And not because it’s required by the job, but because we are human beings, we all have stressful times in our lives and do better with help/support to navigate through those times.
I honestly care. Sometimes that means I take your emotions deep inside and they come home with me, for better or worse. Truthfully though, I would not have it any other way. Most days, I like how empathetic I am and how connected that makes me feel to my clients.
100% Friends and Family. Enough said.