Real Estate with Dallice: The Guilt and the Real Estate Pressure
Buying real estate comes with some stress. The process is new and often challenging to your schedule and budget, but that’s not all. It’s super common when deciding on the type of home or it’s finishes to feel one of two things: Guilty about your good fortune. Real estate pressure to keep up with others or meet their expectations.
Real Estate Guilt
Age old and a common tool used for leverage, most of us had “guilt buttons” installed as we were growing up. They took decades to mature and be finely honed and they are not going to be removed overnight. You will have to learn to become aware of it and then get past it. There is nothing to feel guilty for when you are buying real estate unless your mortgage payment is now the reason you cannot afford to feed the baby!
If your budget allows for it and the home or area you have your eye on is a step up from your last home, your parents home or what your friends and family believe you deserve then congratulate yourself on your success, your hard work, your wise decisions. They have led you to this place and this moment. Now, it’s time to fulfill your dreams. Buy the home with the fab kitchen, enjoy the guest suite or relish in the opportunity to get horse or bathe in that delicious view at sunset. If you cannot truly feel good about how well you’ve done, if you don’t honestly believe you deserve this, then stop shopping for it!
The distance between where you are and where you believe you should be, has tension associated with it. There are only 2 ways to relieve that tension. Create movement toward the goal, or let the goal go and settle for something “closer” to where you are now.
Real Estate Pressure
Also not easy. Every day we are bombarded with ads for things we don’t need or can’t afford. The pressure to own or be something that is not in our best interests is real. But let me be frank.
- You have been pre-qualified by a lender and you know how much money it is theoretically possible to spend.
- You have looked at your life (travel, kids, other planned purchases) and you understand why you are comfortable in the price range we are shopping in.
- We have discussed the NEEDS that the new home has to fulfill.
- Now it’s time to make some compromises on the “preferences” you have.
You may not get the updated kitchen (yet). You might have to learn to be happy with a slightly smaller house or lot, or slightly longer commute. The landscaping is a bit rough or the basement is not finished? So what?! First world problems my friends, first world problems! At what point in our existence did we become so attached to getting everything we want immediately, that we lost the pride of creating it over time, or even understanding what the term “starter home” means?
Every home comes with a lot of potential. Embrace it. Pretty much the only thing you have zero control over is location, once the purchase has been made. We’ll talk about location in the next post.
If your friends and family are trying to convince you to buy more than you can afford or maintain, then it’s time to ask them to either chip in some money or pitch in to help remodel the place you can afford. (Or it’s time to re-evaluate your relationships, if I may be so bold to say.)
I will not help you dig your financial grave
I will not help you buy something that makes you feel bad about yourself. My goal is to reduce your stress and help you obtain the home that meets most of your needs and makes you smile. True enough, I work on commission and if you had to sell and buy something different in the near future, I’d make off like a bandit. However, that is not my goal.
My goal, you might remember, is to work on on referral or repeat business 95% of the time and in order to get closer to my goal, I need to turn out happy, satisfied customers every time. Not unhappy, financially challenged and stressed out clients!