A Cautionary Tale about Love, Lust and Real Estate
After 37 years of marriage, Jack dumped his wife Elaine for his young secretary.
His new girlfriend demanded they live in Jack and Elaine’s multi-million dollar home. Since Jack had better lawyers, he prevailed. He gave Elaine, his now ex-wife, just 3 days to move out.
She spent the 1st day packing her belongings into boxes and crates. On the 2nd day, she had two movers come and collect her things. On the 3rd day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay. When she finished, she went into each and every room and stuffed half-eared shrimp shells into the hollow of all the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When Jack returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything — cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even replaced the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they couldn’t find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local Realtors refused to return their calls. Finally they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
Elaine called Jack and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were the sign the papers that very day. She agreed and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later, Jack and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home… including the curtain rods!
This real estate story isn’t new and it’s origins and authenticity cannot be verified, however it delivers a few messages that shouldn’t be ignored:
- Men: Don’t cheat on your wives.
- Women: Don’t get mad; get even. (She who laughs last, laughs longest)
- Everybody: If you’re buying or selling a home, and it mysteriously smells like dead fish, you’ll need a spectacular Realtor who goes the extra mile… One with a strong constitution and who thinks outside the box. Silver Fern Homes is here for you.